How Do You Trust Yourself Again After a Spiritual Awakening? (Transcript)

Episode transcript, ShelbyRADIO · 24 minutes

Short answer: It's normal to stop trusting yourself after a spiritual awakening, because awakening breaks down the old certainty you had about who you are. Your beliefs shift, you see past choices differently and you become more aware, so you start questioning everything. Trust isn't certainty or perfection. It's internal alignment, knowing you can handle whatever happens. You rebuild it through small decisions, listening to your body and following what feels calm and clear instead of what feels urgent.

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Key takeaways

• Losing trust in yourself after awakening happens to almost everyone. Awakening disrupts the old certainty of self you used to have.
• You stop trusting yourself because old beliefs break down, past choices no longer look aligned, you're more aware than before and you fear making the wrong decision.
• Trust is not certainty and it's not perfection. Trust is internal alignment: knowing you can handle what happens, whether it works out or not.
• Self-trust breaks when you ignore your own signals, choose from fear, people-please or override your intuition.
• Rebuild trust with small decisions, by listening to your body and by no longer outsourcing your decisions to other people.
• Intuition feels calm and clear. Fear feels urgent and loud. Your intuition doesn't rush you, it guides you.

Full transcript

Lightly edited for reading.

When you can't trust yourself anymore (00:00)

Have you ever felt a calling, something deep, something you can't quite explain, that's urging you to step into a higher version of yourself?

There's a point in your awakening where you stop trusting everything, and that includes yourself. You begin questioning your thoughts, your decisions and your feelings, and you start asking, "Can I even trust myself anymore?"

If you find yourself in this position right now, welcome to ShelbyRADIO. I am Shelby Carino, and we are going to dive into learning how to trust yourself again. After you wake up and expand your consciousness, your energy changes and everything changes. You go down this path of yourself and ask, "Where did I go? Where is trust anymore in my world?"

You're not alone in this (01:24)

I want to start by saying that this happens to almost everybody. You are not alone in this. Awakening disrupts the certainty of yourself that you used to have. It's an old certainty of self, and awakening comes in and throws it out. That's what creates this loss of trust within you, because now you're seeing things differently. When your reality shifts, your sense of trust has to begin rebuilding itself.

Projection and the new version of you (02:20)

This is where a lot of people in the awakening process have to learn what projection means. We're all psychic, we all have a third eye, we all have psychic energy, and we are natural projectors. We project out onto someone what we need to see for ourselves, until we don't.

So in this awakening process, when you're beginning to see all these things differently about you, you project it outside of you so you can see what needs to be rebuilt within yourself, the parts you no longer trust. The old version of you is no longer syncing up with the new version of you that is being created in real time.

Why you stop trusting yourself (03:16)

So let's start with why you stop trusting yourself to begin with. Maybe some of you are in an objection state, saying, "I've never stopped trusting myself." I'm going to call BS on that, because we all reach a level where we don't trust ourselves, or we wouldn't even be here on the planet to wake up. We would be perfect.

We stop trusting ourselves because the old belief systems of ourselves are breaking down. We're realizing that past choices we made weren't really aligned with where we're going now. I call those free passes. Especially when you're younger, you get to go out, do all these things and make mistakes without feeling like you have to be responsible and accountable. Then you grow up and realize you can't do that anymore, and some of those past choices are catching up to you. It's because they weren't aligned, and now you're aligning the patterns that created your choices.

Over-aware: my first awakening (05:08)

When you stop trusting yourself at some level, you're over-aware. You're aware of maybe too much now. So you're questioning, "Is this okay? Is that okay? Because now I see this, and I didn't see it before." Your awareness wasn't as big, so your decision-making didn't have to be as responsible or accountable.

That was a huge thing for me when I woke up for the first time, at the end of October 2011. I've woken up many times, but that first big one, I lit up like a firework. I realized I now had to become accountable to myself, to my decisions and to the people around me. I was no longer in this bubble of being a baby in the energies, doing whatever I could with minimal kickback.

With this expanded awareness, I realized that if I don't do right by what I'm now aware of, it kicks back on me and makes my life harder. Talk about military discipline without going into the military. Just have a spiritual awakening. It'll knock you right into alignment.

Fear of the wrong decision, and why teachers show up (07:00)

That's really what this Golden Age is all about: knocking us back into proper alignment. And that's why we have fear of making the wrong decisions, because we don't want a kickback. So we go out and seek mentors, somebody further along in the process than we are, so we can navigate and have someone to bounce off of to make sure we're in check. That's when your teachers show up. Maybe I'm a teacher for you, and you'll go down the informational path I have, to keep you in alignment and build that trust back with yourself.

When your reality shifts, your sense of trust has to rebuild itself. It's just the way it works. You stop trusting yourself because your old belief systems break down, you realize your past choices weren't aligned, you're over-aware and you fear making the wrong decisions.

Questioning what you used to trust (08:24)

It's not necessarily that you're losing trust. You're questioning what you used to trust. There's no normalizing that. You're creating a new normal. That's why you're questioning everything. If you're not questioning everything and you've already moved through that process, you may be in a different stage of your awakening. But we question everything because we start losing trust in what we knew to be true to begin with.

That's why you hear people in spiritual awakening say, "I don't have your answers. The answers are within." When you seek out teachers, guides and mentors, you're not looking to them for your answers. You're seeking them out to get into a process that validates the answers within.

Each teacher and mentor has a different process, based on where they were in their awakening or what their belief systems are. A lot of people put out information based on their belief systems, and I caution you on that, because it's a belief system. You want people who have gone through the process and are putting out the frequency of integration, because they've integrated it. That way it becomes more truth in your system.

The overthinking loop (10:16)

Now I want to touch on the overthinking loop, where you're second-guessing everything, looking outside for validation and needing confirmation on everything. You move away from being on autopilot in your life, making one decision after another, into over-analyzing everything.

I've witnessed this with Joe specifically. When he got to a certain space in his awakening, oh my God. He's a Gemini, so he already lives in the twin, in logic and analytics, and he lives in his left brain a lot, whereas I'm more right-brained. I watched how his brain would have confidence on one side, then bring in the other side and say, "Oh, I don't know." It was a ping-pong match between the two sides leading up to a decision, which is where the overthinking comes in.

It's the same in spiritual awakening. We're balancing our brains and balancing all this information, so it's really hard to come to a decision, because we're over-analyzing everything along with the structure of what we're questioning.

Holding space for your own answers (12:08)

When I have sessions with clients, or I'm just having a conversation with someone, the moments I love best are when I know I'm harmonizing energy with someone and they get to the place of, "Oh my gosh, this is what I need to do next." And I say, "Then go do that." I just held the space and ran the energy with them. I didn't have to tell them what to do.

You want people like that in your world, people who are aligned, grounded and balanced. If you don't have someone like that, you can use me for that, through my courses or a session, whatever you need to move through the overthinking loop and keep moving forward. I am not a fan of sitting and swirling. We're not going to sit and spin on this. We are going to move forward.

What trust actually is (13:32)

So let's look at what trust actually is. Trust is not certainty. Trust is not perfection. Trust is internal alignment. Let me say this again, because I am so passionate about this topic. Just because you have certainty about something doesn't mean you trust it. Just because something is perfect doesn't mean you can trust it.

Trust lives in internally aligning with you: your frequency, your vibration, your auric field, your psychic energy, all your communication channels. And that's why the process of awakening is so special, because that's what you learn to develop over time. Trust is not knowing everything is going to work out. It's knowing that you can handle what happens, whether it works out or not.

What breaks self-trust (14:56)

If you go back in time and look at what broke your own level of trust with yourself, which is why it's called self-trust, it's when you ignore your own signals. It's when you choose things from a place of fear. It's when you people-please. It's when you don't listen to your own intuition. When you do those things, you override yourself every time.

I put things out online to move you toward rebuilding that trust, but you have to get to a place where you see yourself differently: that you are a spiritual being, that you do have psychic energy, that energy is real, that frequency is real and that it moves, and that the Holy Spirit of ourselves is ourselves, connected to much more around us.

Asking for help, and outgrowing the teacher (16:20)

You also have to get to a place where you say, "I need help. I can't do this alone. I don't have the information. I need to find someone who's done this who can help me through it." Maybe you've already found that. Maybe everything I put out resonates with you. Dive into all of it, just like I did with my mentor. When my mentor showed up on my path, she said, "Shelby, take everything I have." I said, "Got it." And I've done everything she's ever told me to do, within what I've needed, because she had the information.

That helped me build trust with myself again, because the goal in all of this is not to need the teacher and mentor for the rest of your life. If that happens, your teacher has done a really poor job. The goal is to build you back up until you have the tools, the immunity, the boundaries, the understanding and the trust, so you're just checking in every now and then for a tune-up, like taking your car in for an oil change.

That's where you want to get to in awakening. Not a know-it-all who says, "I don't need anybody." The fact that you bring in a teacher to deal with your know-it-all is what lets you start making real changes in your life.

Rebuilding trust with small decisions (18:12)

So how do you rebuild trust with yourself? Start with small decisions. A small decision could be, "I don't have a spiritual mentor. I need one." Well, you're listening to one right now. Make the decision.

Listen to your body. What is your body telling you? Is your nervous system so overloaded that your body is having all these physical reactions, things being called immune issues or anxiety, where you're taking pills or having surgeries? What is off in your body that might need to be looked at, not just medically, if that's where you're at, but emotionally and spiritually?

Then follow what feels aligned for you. I'm a teacher by trade. I've coached, and I taught cycling classes back in the day. It's funny, I had big bodybuilder men in my spin classes who would tell me afterward, "You're like an NFL coach. You really motivated us." That's because I always go with what feels aligned in the moment, and I know how to help people move through what they maybe can't push through on their own. If it scares you, fine, but you still have to push through it.

Stop outsourcing your decisions (19:36)

If you need a teacher or mentor who will tell you, "Hey, stop moving in this direction," I might be a good one for you, because you have to stop outsourcing your decisions. Stop talking to your friend Susie over here, sleeping with Brian over there, jumping over to Josh and then crying to your friend Emily about what you did. You're trying to find a place for all those emotions, and you're just digging a deeper hole for yourself.

You're not taking accountability for your decisions and how you feel. You're outsourcing it into these other decisions, and once you make them you think, "Why did I do that?" Then you have to go clean it up. So let's stop that now and begin building your trust in small moments. Not big leaps. Small moments and small decisions, because you're actually listening and taking action. That's the energy of the Year of the Horse we're in: taking action now.

Intuition versus fear (21:00)

The intuition we naturally and organically have always battles our fear. I want you to know that intuition feels calm and clear. You know that you know that you know. Fear is more urgent. It's loud.

I can even tell in this episode that I'm urgent and I'm loud, so I'm playing out a lot of the fear in the collective for whoever is listening right now. There's a lot of fear moving through this planet, which means there isn't a lot of intuition going on, which means a lot more people need to get in and do this work. Are you one of them? Where are you at? Your intuition doesn't rush you. It guides you.

Returning to yourself (22:24)

The energy is going to rush you. In the Year of the Horse, everything is fast. Something comes in, your intuition picks it up, and you make a decision. So don't let yourself get caught in mind games, like, "Oh, this is happening, but I'll wait five years." We're not there anymore.

You don't need to become someone new to trust your new self. You just need to return to yourself, with the newer version that's being created, because you're harmonizing the shadows of the other versions.

Remember, the journey doesn't end here. It's only the beginning. I'll see you on the path.

Frequently asked questions

Why don't I trust myself after a spiritual awakening?

Awakening breaks down the old certainty you had about yourself. Your beliefs shift, past choices no longer look aligned, you're more aware than before and you fear making the wrong decision, so you question what you used to trust.

What is self-trust, really?

Self-trust isn't certainty or perfection. It's internal alignment with yourself, knowing you can handle what happens whether things work out or not.

How do I tell the difference between intuition and fear?

Intuition feels calm and clear, like you know that you know. Fear feels urgent and loud. Your intuition doesn't rush you, it guides you.

How do I start rebuilding trust in myself?

Start with small decisions, listen to what your body is telling you, follow what feels aligned and stop outsourcing your decisions to other people. If your body is showing physical symptoms like anxiety or exhaustion, please also talk with your doctor.

Where to go next

• Start here: my free 16-minute audio, When You Don't Feel Like Yourself
• The course: Trust Your Intuition, hear and trust your inner knowing
• Listen next: Intuition vs. Psychic Ability: What's the Difference?
• Work with me one-on-one: private sessions